3 Way to Apply What you Learn in Therapy to Daily Life

So, you take the plunge and go to therapy. As you go you notice that you are learning new concepts, tools, and biblical information. The more you attend the more you can see how therapy can be beneficial to your healing and daily life.

But as you continue you also notice that you are struggling to incorporate the things you’ve learned. This experience makes you wonder, “how do I take what I’ve learned in therapy and adopt the items to my daily life?” This is an amazing question and one that I’d like to address in this blog.

After almost 8 years practicing as a therapist, I have found that there are three steps to implementing what you learn in therapy to everyday life. These include: practicing what you learn, being aware of yourself, and approaching life patterns differently.

1.      Practicing what you learn

Like anything in life, practice makes perfect. A visual I like to give my clients is to think of their mental health like a muscle. The more you use it, the stronger it will become. If you want your therapy to be a positive change for your life you have to practice the information given to you.

Practicing what you learn doesn’t just mean in session. Of course, practicing in session is important. But, it is even more important that you do so outside of your session. Outside of session is where the hard work really happens. Furthermore, this is where you will build confidence and a steadfastness in your skills.

When you are outside of session you are engaging in your daily life. Dealing with your life stressors and spiritual warfare. Whereas when you are in your therapy session you are in a safe and protected environment with a person who is going to help you through the battle.

The last point I want to leave within this step is to remember that it is not your therapist’s responsibility to make you do something. Therapists are but a vessel to help you through your battle. Like the old adage says, you can bring a horse to water but you cannot make it drink.

2.      Be aware of yourself

Awareness is one of the most powerful tools you can possess. What we do not realize is there are many states of awareness. There is the awareness that most people know about, which is to know your surroundings. This awareness is a skill that many of our first responders and military members excel in. But I am not referring to this type of awareness. I am referring to two different awarenesses.

The first is the ability to know the good, bad, and indifferent of yourself. This is what I like to refer to as personal awareness. Unfortunately, this type of awareness isn’t one that most people want. The reasons for this are endless. In saying that, one reason I have seen is people are afraid or do not want to have to heal their demons.

So instead, they walk around in denial. An example of this type of person is someone who tells you they are one way, when in reality they are the opposite. I know someone within my family who would say they are a patient and compassionate person. Someone who cares deeply for others and puts themselves last.

Let me tell you, that is not true. This person often has people getting upset with them because of their selfish behavior. This is an example of a person who doesn’t have personal awareness.

The next awareness I am referring to is spiritual awareness. This is the deepest level of awareness a believer can possess. Spiritual awareness is the ability to experience and know what is of God. Spiritual awareness is a beautiful gift that is only given to us through the surrendering of our life to Christ and allowing the Holy Spirit to enter us. Moreover, you can only experience this gift if you allow yourself.

At this point I am guessing you are going why is this important. These two types of awareness’s are important because without them you cannot adopt truth and change into your life. In a blog post I wrote a while back I discussed the 3 determinates for life changing therapy.

One of the determinates I discussed was a person who has a desire towards change. A person who has a desire towards change is crying out to God saying, “help me to be aware.” So, if you want to adopt what you are learning in therapy you have to work on your awareness.

3.      Approach your life patterns differently

One of the many topics that a therapist will approach in therapy is the different patterns that they see happening in the client’s life. For therapists we call these interaction cycles. Like anything a person can have positive and negative interaction cycles. Interaction cycles are repeating thoughts, emotions, and actions that occur with a person or relationship.

While in therapy you might have your therapist point out many negative interaction cycles that they see occurring in your life. If that does happen don’t get down on yourself. Every single human on this earth participates in negative interaction cycles.

I’m a therapist and I still work against my negative interaction cycles. What is important is that you practice the tools and skills you learned in therapy when these negative interaction cycles occur.

For example, let’s say you and your therapist are working on boundaries. One of your negative interaction cycles you struggle with is setting boundaries in your life. So, your therapist educates you on boundaries and then gives you tools on how to implement them. It is after this that you are then responsible to go out and practice what you have been taught.  

Now that we have an understanding on how to implement the skills and tools you learn in therapy to daily life, I want to address one last item. I understand that what I discussed above is difficult. When you go to therapy you are confessing there is a problem that you need help fixing.

The next step is figuring out how I then enact change in my life with what I have learned. Both steps are difficult. But, actually implementing these skills and tools in your daily life is even more difficult. Every therapist on this earth knows this! So do not beat yourself up if you are finding it difficult, scary, or overwhelming to change your life.

Satan wants an opening to come in and disturb your spirit. Don’t let this be it! All you have to do is take one day at a time.

If you are not yet in therapy but would like to start, I would love to chat with you! I can be contacted at 725-356-6631. Want to learn more about the services I offer, click these links: couples counseling, family counseling, premarital counseling, women’s counseling.