Covenant Counseling
Premarital
Let’s Build a Foundation!
It is the day that you have thought about for a long time. The day when you are going to ask her to be your forever. Today is the day that you desire to make the ultimate commitment; creating a covenant with God and her.
You get dressed and ready for the day knowing that in just a few hours you will get down on one knee asking the girl of your dreams to be your other half and helper in life. You pick up the ring box with trembling hands. The thought, “this is actually happening,” pops into your mind. You open the box and as you do a giddy feeling comes over you. Praising God for his blessing over your life you walk out of the door ready to start the next chapter of your life.
He picks you up at your house and you notice that he is acting a little weird. Everything is telling you that nothing bad has happened, but your antennas are still up. You notice that he is extra jittery tonight. You ask him if he is okay, to which he responds, “yeah I am great!” Finally, you arrive at your destination and you are amazed at what you see. All the people you love the most are gathered together. You look at him in shock asking what is going on.
He asks you to get out of the car and walk with him. You walk a bit and as you do he begins to tell you the love he has for you and how you have changed his life for the better. He tells you that he wants to be your spiritual leader and covet you the way God calls him to. It is at this time that he gets down on one knee. You begin to cry thinking, “God is this really happening?”
It is at this moment that you go into tunnel vision only seeing and hearing him. He pulls out a ring box telling you more about his love for you. He then asks you to marry him. Being in a haze of a million emotions you are silent. He looks at you concerned and says, “sweetheart will you marry me?” You finally snap back to reality. With tears of jubilation and smiling ear to ear you look him in the eyes and say, “YES!’
Both crying you embrace and tell each other how much you love one another. Excited, your family comes running up to you both congratulating you on the next journey in your lives.
First, I want to tell you how excited I am for you and your soon to be spouse! Marriage is one of the most rewarding blessings a person can experience. You have probably clicked on this page wondering two things: what is covenant counseling and does she offer premarital counseling? The answer is YES, but not in the traditional sense.
In my experience I have found many issues with traditional premarital counseling. When I was engaged to my ex-husband, we did premarital counseling. It was maybe five meetings with our friend who is a pastor. He is a lovely man that I have nothing against. But he did the traditional premarital counseling.
In our meetings there were good topics brought up. These topics included, but were not limited to; our commitment to each other, our relationships with God, and what each of our roles were according to the Bible. It is at this point that you are probably going Amanda this all sounds great, why are you making a big deal out of this? Unfortunately, the depth to which we engaged in these topics was minimal. Furthermore, we never explored things like coping, how we come together in hard times, or our love languages. Before I digress further, let me move on.
One of the other issues I find with traditional premarital counseling is how one person can make that big of an impact in a relationship when they only offer five sessions, maybe lasting an hour to ninety minutes?
What I found is that most have experienced this same type of counseling. After listening to other people’s feedback, I kept hearing a repetitive consensus. That being, people desire premarital counseling that teaches the couple how to understand the foundations of a Godly marriage. Additionally, being able to process and understand the learned behaviors that might cause them to mistreat their partner.
It was feedback such as the above and becoming aware of the divorce rate within the Christian community that caused me to think about how we can do this better. I started praying and that is when God gave me the idea for covenant counseling.
How covenant counseling works is twofold. First the couple conveys any issues they would like to address. The sky is truly the limit when it comes to how many or what the issues may be. The second part is where I do things differently than traditional premarital counseling. One of my differences is I have specific criteria that I will address.
For example, in one session I educate my clients on the biblical pillars that must be in a marriage for it to be successful. After educating on the pillars, I then have the couple tell me which ones they are low in. Once we have that data, we then discuss those pillars. Honing in on where, why, and what causes the low score in that particular pillar and how we can change that.
Furthermore, as this is about creating the best marital foundation under God I require that the couple read certain scriptures. These scriptures will then be discussed throughout the sessions.
It should also be noted that I do not have a set number of sessions before I part ways with a couple. We work for however long it takes for you and your soon to be spouse to learn and grow in the areas you desire.
Interested in starting the best foundation for your marriage under God? Then click the button to set up your free 15 minute consultation!