Couples and Marriage Counseling
You may have arrived here because…
Within your marriage or relationship infidelity has occurred.
Your marriage or relationship has become so disconnected you are at a loss with what to do.
Trauma has occurred within the marriage or relationship, therefore you’ve decided to try couples counseling.
The marriage or relationship is trying to create a relationship under God or get back to being in that place.
One of the spouses is struggling with addiction
You are at the brink of divorce and are exploring your last option.
It’s midnight as you walk into the spare bedroom for the third time in a week to go to bed. The exhaustion you experience is unlike any other. Staying up that late is rarely something you do during the week, but you did because, yet another fight happened. A fight that you are still trying to figure out how it escalated so quickly. You replay the fight repeatedly in your mind and cannot understand why your question triggered your spouse/partner so heavily.
The last thing you wanted was more confrontation. You think about how you told yourself you are not going to allow yourself to escalate again. Only to be frustrated that things ended up escalating more than ever before. These escalating arguments make you worry about what your kids are possibly hearing. As you sit on the edge of the bed you begin to break down into tears, wondering when everything fell apart. This makes you think further on the fights, lack of communication, and disconnect you’re feeling in your marriage/relationship.
As you sit thinking about the past, present, and future of your marriage/relationship your emotions begin to overwhelm you. You cry out to God, “WHY!” You sit there for a few moments waiting for an answer that does not come. You wonder if He even hears you at all? You crawl into bed feeling like you have an elephant on your chest.
Your battered mind and body desperately desires sleep but instead you toss and turn from the weight of the stress, fear, and uncertainty. After all, the disconnect in the marriage/relationship has become so severe you are not sure if tomorrow will mark the day you both go your separate ways.
The number of times I have had a couple tell me a story similar to the above is countless.
What if I told you that even in the most disconnected times of your marriage/relationship there is still hope for a brighter tomorrow.
Envision going to sleep in your bedroom and being able to actually sleep. As you are laying there beginning to doze off you recognize that you are feeling more connected to your spouse/partner. In fact, as you lay next to your spouse/partner you feel the desire to snuggle closer to them.
When you arrived home from work the two of you had this beautiful moment sitting on the couch sharing about your days. As you discussed your day you expressed things that caused you hurt or frustration. Instead of getting defensive or brushing you off your spouse/partner made you feel heard and validated.
In the past, even a conversation as simple as this would have created an argument. As you sit together you actually desire to talk more. You think about your therapist telling you both that in order for change to happen then you must change the way you look at your spouse/partner and learn how to have a relationship built on the foundations God created.
This thought further makes you think about how far you and your spouse/partner have come. Before resentment, contempt, and agitation were the emotions driving how you viewed your spouse/partner. Now you are able to feel empathy, grace, and love for your spouse/partner. Emotions you haven’t felt in a long time.
Questions about Couples Counseling
Is couples counseling right for us?
Couples counseling is right for any couple that wants to better their relationship, has experienced a trauma within the relationship, or is at the crisis point of not knowing if the relationship will last. I understand that couples counseling seems scary because of the unknown of it all. Nonetheless, I can tell you firsthand that couples counseling is about healing both people so that the relationship can last. Will it be challenging and hard, absolutely! But, anything worth fighting for always is.
I’ve never been to counseling before, what should I expect?
First, I want to congratulate you on taking the big leap to ask for help! Second, I want you to take any TV or movie references of counseling and throw it out of your brain. Like anything in movies, there is a small percentage that is accurate.
Counseling can take on many different forms. This is all due to the client and what they are coming to counseling to achieve. This can also change depending on the therapist the individual wants to utilize. When a client is working with me I take a direct approach, while also trying to make sure that laughter is in the session. Yes, laughter is allowed! You don’t have to show up every session upset. If you do show up that way, great! Counseling is about coming exactly how you are and figuring out how to heal all of those parts of you.
What if we have done couples counseling before?
If you have participated in couples counseling previously that is totally fine! We can either continue where you left off, look at the previous issues and address them again, or begin working on new goals.
Is couples counseling only for those that are married?
No! Couples counseling is for any couple struggling in their relationship or desire to make their relationship better.
Amanda, you don’t take insurance and I want to work with you, what do I do?
The thing I encourage you to do is see if your insurance company will take a superbill. If they do, then I have no problem supplying that for you. Superbills allow you to get reimbursed up to a certain amount for your sessions. The insurance carriers where this is an exception are: Anthem and Medicare. Unfortunately, I do not provide superbills for these providers.
Want to build a relationship centered on God and positive communication? Then click the button below to set up a free 15-minute consultation call!