It’s that time of year again where we all begin to evaluate our life choices. We all want to have a good year and feel like we accomplished something.

In this surveyance of our past year and a desire for more in the upcoming, we might look at our routine, diet, exercise, work life balance, and so on.

Looking at these parts of our lives can make us ask the question, “what do I want to do differently and be better at in the new year?” This leads many of us to go to the tried-and-true method of making new year’s resolutions.

But what if I told you that new year’s resolutions are a really bad idea. To help illuminate the issue I have outlined five problems below.

1.      Making the Resolutions Unrealistic

Have you ever noticed how difficult people make things. I feel like Christian’s especially do this the best.

The Bible is really clear about things, but we cannot agree with one another, so we go make all these different denominations. See what I mean? We make things difficult.

This is also true when we talk about resolutions. One of the best, I say this sarcastically, qualities about people is we are unrealistic about most things. This is one of the reasons why new year’s resolutions are a bad idea.

Don’t believe me? Ok I’ll give you an example from my own life.

When I first started my private practice, I had this expectation that I would work really hard to get clients within four months of opening my doors. While that might be achievable for others, it was completely unrealistic for me.

This was due to all kinds of factors.

The first factor was I hadn’t lived in the area for long. People didn’t know that I existed.

So, I had to do that dreaded thing called networking. If you have ever tried to start a business you know that networking is awful, but necessary, and something that takes time.

My next factor was I had no presences online. I didn’t have a website, social media, or anything anywhere letting people know that my business was open and I was taking clients. So here we are again with another item that takes A LOT of time.

I give the above illustration because I wasn’t realistic with my timeline, resources, or expertise. I was unrealistic with my expectations. This is the same thing I see happen with people who set new year’s resolutions.

I mean think about it this way. New year’s resolutions are set on the principle that on January 1st you start to change your life. Irregardless of what else you have going on or the resources you may need to make those changes.

If you really want to have change in your life you have to be realistic with yourself and your environment.

2.      Try Too Many at Once

The second problem with new year’s resolutions is because people are operating from an unrealistic place, they end up putting far too many resolutions on themselves.

Have you ever been around a friend or a family member that tells you they decided what their new year’s resolutions will be? The key word being resolutions.

Most people, when thinking about their new year’s resolutions, make this laundry list. Some really common examples I have heard over the years include wanting to eat healthier, exercise more, spend more time with their loved ones, getting more sleep, and so on.

The problem isn’t that people want to grow and be better. That is an amazing desire to have and as a therapist I hope all people have this desire.

The part that is problematic with the above list is the number of resolutions being piled on at the same time. It’s not realistic for a person to say I have five things I want to change, and I am going to start them all at the same time.

This will inevitably lead a person to get overwhelmed and give up. Need more convincing? Then I encourage you to go read this article by Taylor Barnes from Baylor College of Medicine.

3.      Poorly Planned

Alright, so you sit down and you write out all of your resolutions. You are excited to start the new year off with a bang focusing on your own personal growth.

Two of the resolutions you have are around your health. You decide that you want to get in the gym and start eating healthy.

You aren’t sure how you are going to achieve this, but you decide you will figure that out as you go along.

This is where the next problem with new year’s resolutions pops up. When people create their resolutions, they don’t think about how they are going to execute them.

So many people have this desire and instead of surveying all the variables in their life, to see what can actually work, they go off halfcocked saying they are going to go to the gym five days a week.

This is after not working out for God knows how long. If you want true change to happen, you have to have a plan.

4.      Peer Pressure

If you want to see the effects of peer pressure on adults’ new year’s resolutions are a great place to look. I used to work in higher education before becoming a therapist.

I remember one year in particular where the women in the office were talking about how they wanted to lose weight. The women having this discussion then started talking about it with other women in the office.

What I found out, was a few of the women in the office decided to join in simply because they didn’t want to be the only ones not participating.

If you really want to change something in your life it has to be because you want it. Not because of others.

5.      Mental Health

People don’t realize how much their mental health can be messed with when they pursue new year’s resolutions.

Some of the mental health effects can be negative self-talk, creating negative beliefs, and the possibility of depression popping up.

When someone sets new year's resolutions, and they don’t succeed it is so easy for that person to fall into negative self-talk. Negative self-talk is when someone thinks and says all the worst things about themselves to themselves.

For example, a person, let’s call him Scott, could decide I want to start getting up an hour earlier every day. January 1st rolls around, and he starts implementing his resolution into his life.

The first week of the resolution goes really well. Then week two rolls around and on Wednesday he has a hard day at work. Due to this, Scott comes home exhausted and ends up sleeping through his alarm the next morning.

Feeling frustrated he starts thinking how stupid he is for allowing himself to sleep through his alarm.

A few days after that he decides to go out with his friends. It ends up being a late night at his friend’s house and he starts thinking even worse things about himself.

This then leads him to start to believe that he is a failure. This negative belief about himself carries on for several months. Which then leads Scott down a very difficult path where he can’t get out of bed and only sees the worst in himself. What he ends up experiencing is depression.

Scott started off with all the best intentions, but he ended up not being successful because of all the things we have already discussed. Remember change is not a bad thing, but for healthy change to take place you have to execute it in a healthy way.

Wanting to be a better person is one of the best goals for a person to desire. So please know I am not telling you not to pursue change or improvement. What I am telling you is in your desire towards change, make sure you evaluate how you are going to get there.

If you feel like you would like some help in that journey, then I highly recommend seeking out a therapist. You can click this link if you are interested in starting that process with me!